Twist or Stick: escaping from the limbo-land of indecision
I recently went along
to an evening seminar with Robert Dilts called Twist or Stick. He talked about,
as in the card game, we are continually faced with choices to either act, or
not act. He observed that people may be more prone to ‘twist’, take action, get
things done, be proactive. Or, they may be more likely to ‘stick’, hold back, not
act, stay cautious.
When
viewed objectively, it’s clear that in life, both are necessary. Twisting propels
us forward. However, if we are constantly taking action, we run the risk of burning
ourselves out. Sticking protects us, it allows time for reflection and keeps us
safe. But if we spend our whole life this way, we can limit our potential in
the world.
The
point here is that we have a choice. Whether we choose to act or not act, there
will always be the opportunity to learn, from both our successes and our
failures, irrespective of the outcomes.
But
what do you do when you don’t know whether to twist or stick? Sometimes, both
options are compelling. Sometimes, acting and not acting feel like they have
scary consequences. When you’re stuck this kind of limbo-land, it can be hard
to decide what to do.
Following
Einstein’s principle that you can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that
created the problem in the first place, Robert took us through three
perspectives which together can help you step out of the ‘box of indecisiveness’.
·
Position 1: what do you want to do/not do?
Why do you want to do it/not do it? What does that feel like?
·
Position 2: what stops you/compels you to
do it/not do it? Why is that? How do you experience that?
·
Position 3: what is worth taking the risk
to either act/not act? When have you taken a risk in the past and how did you
experience that?
·
And finally: what fresh insights does
Position 3 bring to Positions 1 and 2 and what does that enable you to do/not do?
Since
the seminar, I have decided to twist on a situation that had been
paralysing me for some time. I have had the most productive week all year.
Beyond taking action – which was a big leap in itself – I realised that I have
the choice and that whichever choice I make, I will still be here, time will
continue to pass, it will be OK.
Robert
finished by quoting a poem called Sometimes, which elegantly
offers hope and I hope will encourage you to make a conscious choice in
whatever card game you’re playing at this point in your life.
Sometimes
Sometimes
things don't go, after all,
from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.
from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.
A
people sometimes step back from war;
elect an honest man; decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.
elect an honest man; decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.
Sometimes
our best efforts do not go
amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen to you
amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen to you
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